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Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
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