Texts From Last Night

Last Night in Maine (207)

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  Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.

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  (207): Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present. http://tfl.nu/yqaq
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  I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?

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  (207): I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar? http://tfl.nu/a7cq
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  i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea

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  probs a good idea

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  i like the whole idea of life and being alive

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  you sure you're not high?

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  (207): i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea (1-207): probs a good idea (207): i like the whole idea of life and being alive (1-207): you sure you're not high? http://tfl.nu/e7l1
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  no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.

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  (207): no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod. http://tfl.nu/vf6z
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  so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you

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  (207): so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you http://tfl.nu/yn2g
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  hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.

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  (207): hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either. http://tfl.nu/vb3y
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  I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well

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  (207): I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well http://tfl.nu/bwmv
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  there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets

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  (207): there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets http://tfl.nu/n8se
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  Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...

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  (207): Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight... http://tfl.nu/a8ub
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  Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....

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  I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11

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  (207): Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night..... (617): I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11 http://tfl.nu/wa6u
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  She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.

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  (207): She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird. http://tfl.nu/49lo
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  they said they heard you say put it in my butt

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  (207): they said they heard you say put it in my butt http://tfl.nu/b3wk
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  winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.

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  (207): winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer. http://tfl.nu/n491
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  I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring

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  (207): I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring http://tfl.nu/1cyo
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  I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii

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  (207): I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii http://tfl.nu/9rj5
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