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The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
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