It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.