Texts From Last Night

Last Night in California (415)

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  Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.

  (415): View more from California

  No.

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  (920): Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay. (415): No. http://tfl.nu/olk0
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  (415): View more from California

  just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?

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  (415): just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good? http://tfl.nu/tswm
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  Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.

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  (415): Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer. http://tfl.nu/s996
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  carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.

  (415): View more from California

  be there in 3 mins

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  (408): carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit. (415): be there in 3 mins http://tfl.nu/00q0
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  He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished

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  (415): He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished http://tfl.nu/a96t
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  (415): View more from California

  JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP

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  (415): JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP http://tfl.nu/adca
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  (415): View more from California

  Having a random hookup so left but love u

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  (415): Having a random hookup so left but love u http://tfl.nu/w2t3
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  (415): View more from California

  Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling

  (415): View more from California

  God, I love San Francisco.

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  (415): Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling (415): God, I love San Francisco. http://tfl.nu/z7fc
  Replies (27) Good night (2833) Bad night (329)
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  (415): View more from California

  thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.

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  (415): thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america. http://tfl.nu/loag
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  (415): View more from California

  we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one

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  (415): we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one http://tfl.nu/7sll
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  (415): View more from California

  I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?

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  (415): I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first? http://tfl.nu/brke
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  just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.

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  (415): just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid. http://tfl.nu/grub
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  I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.

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  (415): I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity. http://tfl.nu/h9r5
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  (415): View more from California

  We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.

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  (415): We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now. http://tfl.nu/4l2w
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  (415): View more from California

  Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.

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  (415): Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were. http://tfl.nu/n6mv
  Replies (1) Good night (744) Bad night (273)