It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
17 Women That Lost Condoms Up Their Lady Parts
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
23 People Confess The Most F*cked Up Thing Guests Have Done In Their House
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW