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sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
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