Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing