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my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
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