It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
23 Bosses Confess The Craziest Thing They’ve Seen An Employee Do
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
19 People Confess What It’s Like To Have Sex With Someone That Is Transitioning
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.