The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty