she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.