PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Houston, we have a blender
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY