I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
These 21 People Shouldn’t Be Giving Dating Advice
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now