dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
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On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
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You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
I dont know to explain this.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting