Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
I dont know to explain this.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.