You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
27 Unforgettable Hookup Texts
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
19 Groupies Confess What It’s Really Like To Hook Up With Famous Rockstars
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it