Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
25 Children of Helicopter Parents Admit The Most Horrible Thing They Were Put Through
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
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He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am