okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
29 “I’m Getting Old” Moments
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
19 Worst Song Lyrics of All Time
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...