after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.