Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
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All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
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i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.