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i just made my gag reflex go away.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
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