Texts From Last Night

Last Night in North Carolina (336)

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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  i just made my gag reflex go away.

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  (336): i just made my gag reflex go away. http://tfl.nu/haya
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  i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed

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  (336): i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed http://tfl.nu/dxga
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  I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!

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  (336): I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo! http://tfl.nu/ejnx
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  the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood

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  (336): the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood http://tfl.nu/dx4f
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  Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?

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  (336): Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone? http://tfl.nu/bgt3
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  There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel

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  (336): There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel http://tfl.nu/7mru
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  A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one

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  (336): A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one http://tfl.nu/284v
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  He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.

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  (336): He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid. http://tfl.nu/xe46
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  I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.

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  (336): I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked. http://tfl.nu/6qrx
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  16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay

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  (336): 16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay http://tfl.nu/u1h0
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  He asked me if I "almost moaned"

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  (336): He asked me if I "almost moaned" http://tfl.nu/8ba0
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  Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.

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  (336): Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh. http://tfl.nu/7dtp
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  he said i'm too pretty to suck penis

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  (336): he said i'm too pretty to suck penis http://tfl.nu/wzvb
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  he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down

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  i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him

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  (336): he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down (919): i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him http://tfl.nu/upw6
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  i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.

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  (336): i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night. http://tfl.nu/mqbm
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