Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.