I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Tumblr User Tells Story About A ‘Demon Gets Adopted By A Grandma’& It Needs To Be A F**king Movie
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.