he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.