I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
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Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
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ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself