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Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
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