He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
These 23 Groupies Had The Most Insane Sexual Experiences With Celebs
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
35 Of The Funniest Things People Said While Banging
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.