Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
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She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
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I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...