i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
If You LOL At These 18 Tweets, You’re Probably A Terrible Person
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
If You’re One of These 12 Restaurant Customers, Your Server is Definitely Spitting in Your Food
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Good Food, Cheap Beer, and Hot Singles: the Top 13 Cities for Millennials