Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.