He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.