By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.