I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
21 Distraught People Found Out They Had An STD
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
21 Ladies Reveal The Sexiest Thing A Man Can Do In A Public Setting
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.