For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.