ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
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I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
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As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.