I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina