Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
15 Things That Could NEVER Happen Anywhere But the South
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.