I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Did we literally take a cab across the street
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.