she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.