it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
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Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
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Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself