I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?