You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew