Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
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sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
no that's ok
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.