All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I have fence marks all over my body
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him