Texts From Last Night

Last Night in Pennsylvania (412)

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  Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out

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  (412): Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out http://tfl.nu/mlh0
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  I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.

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  Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.

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  (412): I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine. (412): Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out. http://tfl.nu/kfiz
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  I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."

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  (412): I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from." http://tfl.nu/4vvg
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  My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.

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  (412): My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey. http://tfl.nu/rdvv
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  The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.

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  (412): The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked. http://tfl.nu/s0us
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  i have an important question...can you drink in jail?

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  (412): i have an important question...can you drink in jail? http://tfl.nu/ntk5
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  I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.

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  (412): I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass. http://tfl.nu/ocdo
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  my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?

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  (412): my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush? http://tfl.nu/kyl4
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  I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings

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  (412): I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings http://tfl.nu/tlmy
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  Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?

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  (412): Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am? http://tfl.nu/j782
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  its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more

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  (412): its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more http://tfl.nu/r5j0
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  Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?

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  (412): Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet? http://tfl.nu/5htr
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  You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...

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  (412): You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex... http://tfl.nu/wlmu
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  I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall

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  (412): I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall http://tfl.nu/47d9
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  Another day, another engagement, another cat

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  (412): Another day, another engagement, another cat http://tfl.nu/m5x7
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