I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
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I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
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he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
no that's ok
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed