I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...