Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
10+ Incredible Tumblr Stories That Will Leave You Shook
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
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He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?