He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?