Texts From Last Night

Last Night in Florida (386)

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  (386): View more from Florida

  make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions

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  (386): make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions http://tfl.nu/o45u
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  Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today

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  (386): Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today http://tfl.nu/fdks
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  He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.

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  (386): He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids. http://tfl.nu/ivvs
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  Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.

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  (386): Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together. http://tfl.nu/96ms
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  In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.

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  (386): In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations. http://tfl.nu/h1dn
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  I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.

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  (386): I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters. http://tfl.nu/2e4j
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  How was the party last night?

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  I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.

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  (386): How was the party last night? (918): I'm dangerously close to shitting myself. http://tfl.nu/f0x1
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  Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)

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  (386): Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight) http://tfl.nu/otp9
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  Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.

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  (386): Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately. http://tfl.nu/yc56
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  That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!

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  Gravity is no match for my libido

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  (407): That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work! (386): Gravity is no match for my libido http://tfl.nu/l272
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  I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."

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  (386): I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount." http://tfl.nu/nxe2
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  I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over

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  (386): I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over http://tfl.nu/gegy
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  Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?

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  (386): Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right? http://tfl.nu/g0nq
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  The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.

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  (386): The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband. http://tfl.nu/86hq
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  (386): View more from Florida

  I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes

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  (386): I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes http://tfl.nu/04pj
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