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i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
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