Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Keanu Reeves Photobombed A Couple’s Wedding Photos As A Perfect Gift
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.