You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
34 Tweets About Student Debt That Will Make You Laugh and Cry At The Same Time
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
14 Craigslist Ads That Will Make You Lose Your Faith in Humanity
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.