come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
10+ Incredible Tumblr Stories That Will Leave You Shook
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg