I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday