Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.