Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
These People Had Regrettable One Night Stands
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay