The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]