She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I'm fucking your sister right now.
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.