We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
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I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
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