Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
These People Had Regrettable One Night Stands
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.