Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS