Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.