Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it