Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it