In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Keanu Reeves Photobombed A Couple’s Wedding Photos As A Perfect Gift
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
29 Married People Share What They Used To Find Cute About Their SO—But Now Find Infuriating
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.