It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
The 21 Worst Ways People Have Been Dumped
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.