Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
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First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.