I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
People With No Siblings Will Never Understand These 23 Things
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian